It is 5:00 AM and I have been up since a quarter to 3:00, making my mother’s amazing caramel corn recipe as my contribution to Fall Fest (Mill A School on Saturday, October 20, 2018 at 6:00 PM). This is not my first early morning this week. In fact, there have been a lot of early mornings and late nights lately, and they are not all due to an eighteen-month-old with the worst case of FOMO you have ever seen.
It is nearly three weeks since Simchat Torah, and I have spent that time reacquainting myself with my students and welcoming myself back to daily life. The Chaggim (Jewish holidays) came fast and furious this year, a mere two weeks after school was back in session. Two days out for Rosh Hashanah, one for Yom Kippur, another two for Succot, and then Shmini Atzeret and Simchat Torah.
The Chaggim were wonderful—my daughter took her first steps on Rosh Hashanah. We spent time with our friends from synagogue. And, of course, we ate a lot of food. This was the first year my daughter was able to participate—last year she wasn’t even sitting up or eating solid food. This year she danced on Simchat Torah, I threw her up in the air, and carried her on my shoulders. She ate her first Laffy Taffy—okay, half a Laffy Taffy—we are pretty restrictive with the sugar.
But having to take seven days off from work when the world keeps whirling around me is always a challenge. Imagine not automatically having Christmas or Thanksgiving off, no one around you in tune with all the planning, shopping, and cooking you are doing, and that this happened at an especially critical time in your work cycle. Now put Thanksgiving and Christmas a week apart, make them both two days long, add in a fast day and you hosting two more days of New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day and that’s kind of what it’s like. Sort of. But with more cooking and more time in church.
I am very grateful for the Chaggim. They give me a chance to take a good look at my relationship with G-d and with other people, and also give me a chance to do tshuva, and to celebrate. Focusing on the health of my soul and spiritual self once a year means that I can make serious change. It also eliminates a lot of unproductive guilt. The time spent with family and friends is literally irreplaceable. Certainly, the Chaggim are a great gift.
This year has been a greater adventure than usual, as I am taking classes to earn my teaching certificate. For the first time in at least ten years, I pulled an all-nighter in order to get a paper turned in on time. I am happy to report the essay was given an A+, but staying up after Shabbat and into erev Succot and then being functional for the first night was an experience I would prefer not to have to repeat any time soon.
But the overwhelming experience of this year’s Chaggim was not one of feeling other or stressed or even squeezed for time. No, it was one of gratitude. Good friends across the country, loving family, tight-knit community, fabulous coworkers, lovely students, mobility, and, of course, my husband and daughter. There were many years of Chaggim when I stood before G-d and wondered if I would be given my own family, and knew the desire for one was aching between myself and G-d. Now, seeing everything that I have been blessed with is like looking out at the awe-inspiring Pacific Northwest mountains. There is no effective way of describing it, but you want to share the feeling, you want everyone to know the peace and joy.
